Another one of my heroes, and mentors, of the faith is Edith Schaeffer. Edith and her husband, the late Francis Schaeffer, co-founded L'Abri, the Christian community that began in the mid-fifties in Switzerland, as they followed the leading of the Holy Spirit. Innumerable young people, and older folks too, have been much helped by their books, letters, lectures, etc., and by the example of their lives of steadfastness to God and service to others, lived in faithfulness to God and His calling.

"What Is A Family?" is a book by Edith Schaeffer that I would like to share excerpts from (below). It is written in the same style that Edith used to write her "Family Letters" from L'Abri to her family first, and to a continuously growing group of people who were interested in, and were supporting and praying for the work of L'Abri. Concerning her books, a mutual friend of Edith Schaeffer (and knows her personally) and me, who thinks as highly of her as I do, made a comment in an e-mail to me and others that "Edith could use a good editor." This wasn't said in a hateful way, but just as a matter of observation. Edith Schaeffer is not, primarily, a writer, but she does get her points across in an inspiring and helpful way. She is faithful to share from her life, observations, and experiences in a way that has been, and continues to be, encouraging to others. Her writing, however, is not particularly conducive to "excerpting". It is necessary to include large portions of excerpts to keep the meaning and the "flow" of what she is saying. Therefore, this post is longer than usual. Please keep this in mind as you read these excerpts from her book, "What Is A Family?"

In Him in Whom we are one family,
Elaine

p.s. To those who have experienced painful unavoidable divorces, or those who have friends and/or family members who have had to go through this trauma, some of what Mrs. Schaeffer writes may not be immediately applicable at this time, other than as they give some insight into "God's family" and some of the things to think about when considering our place in that family. Edith would be the first to say that hers are not the *final words" on the subject of family -- they are some thoughts to consider when considering family.

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For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Ephesians 3:14-21

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"What is a Family?" This question, the title of a book by Edith Schaeffer (1975, Fleming Revell: Old Tappan, New Jersey), is answered in part by the author, under chapter headings such as: A Shelter in the Time of Storm
A Museum of Memories
A Formation Center for Human Relationships
An Educational Control
The Birthplace of Creativity and others. Mrs. Schaeffer writes that (among other things) "A family is a grouping of individuals who are affecting each other intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, physically, psychologically, . . . [requiring] "imagination, creativity, originality, talent, concern, love, compassion, excitement, determination, and time.... " She also suggests the art form of a "mobile" as a metaphor for family. "A mobile is a moving, changing collection of objects constantly in motion, yet within the framework of a form. The framework of a family gives form, but ... there is never any one day following another when ... [those within a family] are either the same age or at the same point of growth. Every individual is growing, changing, developing, or declining -- intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and psychologically. ..." A family as an art form is "an exciting art career, [and] an art form needs work. "

Within the family there is "an exchange of growing, developing ideas which are often a result of much reading, thinking, praying, and struggle. . . . each one [in the family] has something to say in the direction of the unmistakeable worthwhileness of fighting to have the continuity which cannot be had outside of a family--a family which is not shattered, scattered, fragmented, splintered, but together in a growing unity throughout the years and generations." "Families are meant to be a "mobile", a growing, changing, beautiful art form which will in some tiny way picture the beauty of the gigantic art form of the complete "Family" of ... God. ... "At every age, the knowledge that there are people close to you--family--who want to "hear all about it" is a double blessing. First, it is a protection against doing the most devastating thing that occurs to you in the midst of anger, self-pity, the danger of placing one's immediate desire above the long-term continuity of life; and second, an inspiration to "keep on." It helps to know that somebody, another human being, really cares whether you keep on or not!"

Referring to a family reunion, Mrs. Schaeffer writes: "This family reunion did not come about because of perfect people, nor because of having had perfect relationships every moment of every day, nor because of having always made right decisions, nor because of calm perfect dispositions and easy-to-live-with characters. There has been a long succession of mistakes and sins, forgiveness asked for and given, troubles and feelings of hopelessness, discouragement to the point of wanting to give up, hard lessons learned, and a fresh learning from each other. The older ones have learned from the younger, as well as the opposite way around. The Bible says, "...tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us" (Romans 5:3). "You don't find any instant formula for living with the reality of showing forth love, whether within a personal family, or in the larger Family of those who are the children of the Lord, . . . Showing love that has depth and is real comes along in the succession of events given us: tribulation--patience--experience--hope. Hard things -- broken legs, hospital experiences, illnesses, disappointments, economizing in creative ways, finding a lack of understanding, being attacked from outside, going through floods and avalanches, car accidents, having mean, untrue accusations thrown at us by others (or thrown at one of the other members of the family) -- every kind of tribulation is what is meant. Tribulation worketh patience. It is after a certain amount of tribulation has been lived through, and that takes time, that a person can acquire some patience .... Patience cannot be shown unless there is a circumstance which would make us impatient. " "Then, after lots of opportunity to have patience, experience results. Time after time, patience is demonstrated . . . and then comes the experience of knowing how to get along with another imperfect human being, which makes it possible to have a continuing relationship with the same person (and the same persons, as the family becomes plural). Patience following tribulation and experience following patience . . . This is how people are to get along with people. And it applies in the family first of all, equally for each to strive for." "After the experience comes hope. You may say, Oh, of course there is hope for the coming of Christ." Yes, that too -- hope for the coming of the Bridegroom Christ, our perfect bodies, and removal from all tribulations. But I think it is a present hope for this life, too. This hope is the hope that "maketh not ashamed," . . . As we go on being patient or steadfast during various kinds of tribulation in our family experiences together, the love of God grows, and His love in us becomes more apparent through us to each other, as well as our natural love for each other growing and mellowing into a richness that could never exist without the long succession of ups and downs, better and worse situations. . . . "

"The universe is a spoiled universe, and people have been really made "abnormal" by sin. There is no possible way of having good relationships, nor of having a whole grouping of good relationships in the framework of a family, if there is no one who understands that it takes time, patience, hard times, unselfish work, sacrifice of a variety of sorts, and planning on the part of someone to insure memories of beauty sprinkled all through the difficulties. Someone has to feel the wonder and dignity of having the mobile of the family be the artwork which that person is interested in seeing develop.

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"Unity and diversity. Form and freedom. Togetherness and individuality. A Family. "Age. Youth, childhood, infancy -- strung together on tiny threads. Blowing in delicate movement independently, yet together. A family -- belonging to each other, affected by each other, compassionate for each other, concerned about each other, interested in each other -- a living mobile, never static. A Family." "Birth, education, marriage, tragic deaths, successes, failures -- eternal life -- heaven. Never static. A Christian family is a mobile blown by the gentle breeze of the Holy Spirit. This is not a romantic idea; it is in accordance with what the Bible teaches is possible. Each born-again member of the family is indwelt by the Holy Spirit. If this takes place, one can picture not perfection, but a measure of reality in thinking of the Christian family as constantly changing from month to month, year to year, with the mix never the same -- agewise, interestwise, talentwise, intellectwise -- never static, with always new fascination in discovering new points of communication as human beings are growing and developing. A mobile -- blown by the breeze of the Holy Spirit. "No, not one member of any family will always be directed or blown by the Spirit, nor will all the members be directed every day in perfect balance to His plan, but there is an exciting possibility of knowing something very real in some measure, as there is recognition of the importance and centrality of the living artwork, the mobile which the family can be. . . .

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"There are no beautiful mobiles, works of art in the form of families, which have never been in danger of being broken. Frustration, anger, impatience, the feeling of being misunderstood, the giving in to daydreams of perfection -- these or other forms of dissatisfaction invade every human relationship for at least a few minutes, if not hours or days. Have any two people never felt like walking away from each other? The difference is that the deep underlying sense of the importance of family continuity must be stronger than the insistence on having perfection. People throw away what they could have, by insisting on perfection which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it. . . .

"There is a beauty and continuity which can never be had unless someone in the family has the certainty that the whole art form is more important than one incident, or even a string of incidents. To smash a Ming vase which is absolutely irreplaceable -- just to satisfy a violent feeling of wanting to be emphatic in making a statement, when there is a five-and-ten-cent-store plate which could be smashed just as well to suit the need -- is a minimal picture of what it is to smash the living artwork of a family, and then to spend the rest of one's life paying for it and seeing other people pay for it, too. Wasted lives.

"People need to experience the beauty of being part of a mobile art form, and people who have never known such beauty exists need to see it taking place. If human relationships are to be beautiful on a wider form, in church and state, the individual families making up society have to be really worked on by someone who understands that artists have to work to produce their art. It doesn't just fall down readymade from the sky!"

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"We have a perfect . . . Father who is also our God, and Who has promised us the help that is needed. He knows we are weak, and He promises us His strength. What a balance -- His strength in our weakness! He knows there will be times when we will be afraid for ourselves and for our children -- and He promises to be with us so that we don't need to be dismayed. He knows we are in danger of falling flat -- and promises to "uphold" us! (Isaiah 41:10) He hasn't promised us an easy time without suffering, but has promised comfort to balance the suffering. . . . As we contemplate what a family can be in the twentieth [and twentyfirst] century, there is no need to turn away in discouragement: For this God is our God for ever and ever: He will be our guide [yours and mine] even unto death. (Psalm 48:14).

"The original Artist of the mobile -- the perfectly balanced art form in constant movement, the living, changing family -- is God who made people in His image and placed them together in families held together by invisible threads! Satan, the vandal, has been working at destroying this artwork ever since! The need to "work at it," as with any other art form, is augmented by the need to give protection to the family, to place "guards" to keep the destructive attacks away, and to keep sensitive watch for any approaching army with swords raised to "cut the threads."

"A family -- for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health! Dirty diapers, chicken pox, measles, mumps, broken dishes, scratched furniture, balls thrown through windows, fights, croup in the night, arguments, misunderstandings, inconsistencies, lack of logic, unreasonableness, anger, fever, flu, depressions, carelessness, toothpaste tops left off, dishes in the sink, windows open too far, windows closed tight, too many covers, too few covers, always late, always too early, frustration, economies, extravagance, discouragement, fatigue, exhaustion, noise, disappointment, weeping, fears, sorrows, darkness, fog, chaos, clamorings -- families!"

"A family -- for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health! Softness, hugs, children on your lap, someone to come home to, someone to bring news to, a telephone that might ring, a letter in the post, someone at the airport or station, excitement in meeting, coming home from the hospital with a new person to add, someone to understand intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, happy shrieks of greeting in which you are involved, beloved old people, welcomed babies, increasing togetherness, blending ideas of interior decoration, blending musical taste, growing interests, fun, satisfaction, enjoyment, clean washing, ironed clothing, tulips up, flowers arranged, rugs vacuumed, beauty, dogs, cats, candlelight, firelight, sunlight, moonlight, fields with someone to walk with, woods with someone to picnic, sharing food, imaginative cooking, exchanging ideas, stimulating each other -- families!"

"A family is a mobile strung together with invisible threads -- delicate, easily broken at first, growing stronger through the years, in danger of being worn thin at times, but strengthened again with special care. A family -- blended, balanced, growing, changing, never static, moving with a breath of wind -- babies, children, young people, mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles -- held in a balanced framework by the invisible threads of love, memories, trust, loyalty, compassion, kindness, in honor preferring each other, depending on each other, looking to each other for help, giving each other help, picking each other up, suffering long with each other's faults, understanding each other more and more, hoping all things, enduring all things, never failing! Continuity! Thin, invisible threads turning into thin, invisible metal which holds great weights but gives freedom of movement -- a family! Knowing always that if a thread wears and sags, there is help to be had from the Expert -- the Father -- "Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named." (Ephesians 3:14, 15)

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